The Bind: Some days, life is hard.
The Issue: Some days, we resist the things and resources that will get us what we most want in life. We want change, yet we resist change. We want intimate relationships, yet we resist being vulnerable. We want to be loved, yet we resist being loved. We want to generate wealth, yet we resist doing what we need to do to generate wealth.
I had a recent lightbulb moment about resistance. Most importantly, about the resistance in my life.
I was on the elliptical. I hadn’t been working out consistently. And so, I was a little out of breath and struggling to maintain my ‘usual’ workout. And as the elliptical automatically switched to the higher resistance, I did my best to take my thoughts anywhere except the focus on my workout. Yet, I quickly came back to ‘this is hard’, ‘how much longer at this level?’, ‘Why does this have to be hard?’, ‘I should be able to do this’, yada yada yada.
And then the lightbulb – I’m the one who decided to work out! I’m the one who decided what level of resistance I was going to use. Wait, what??!! I chose the resistance? I chose this to be hard??!! That’s right!
So where in your life are you choosing hard? Where are you choosing to resist?
Here’s a short list of things we resist that end up making life hard: (which ones do you relate to?)
- We resist the truth. (Remember, the truth will set you free, but first, it will probably piss you off!) In this case, for example – The truth is I no longer have a usual workout. In fact, my ‘usual’ workout had become not working out! The truth is that though my mind may be 35, my body is 65. (Check out my FB video about that).
- We also resist our brilliance, our gifts, and what’s great about us.
- We resist taking consistent action toward our dreams.
- We resist things that come our way, especially if it’s too easy or doesn’t look the way we think it should.
- We resist being ourselves. We try to be who others expect us to be.
- We resist being happy and enjoying life until…we are married, the kids are gone, there’s $XXX in the bank, the mortgage is paid, I have the promotion, and …. You fill in the blank.
- We resist doing something different when what we’re doing is not working.
- We resist doing what we really would love to do because ‘this’ gives me security.
- We resist asking for support.
- We resist loving ourselves.
“All suffering comes from not accepting (resisting) what is.” -Jessica Jaramillo
- Lighten up! You are the only one who determines the resistance in your life. Every day doesn’t have to be a race or a competition. You are usually only competing against yourself anyway.
- Raise the bar on how you see yourself! Tell yourself the truth about your amazingness, your brilliance. Look for how you make a difference and what you’ve accomplished, and start talking about yourself the way you talk about your best friend.
- Just be you! Your life will work better that way! Besides, everyone else is taken. Life gets hard (and exhausting) when we keep trying to live up to other people’s expectations instead of our dreams. So keep asking yourself – What would I love? And then do that!
- Consistent action leads to traction! Create simple practices that keep you on your path. You don’t have to solve big problems every day. BTW – consistent inaction keeps you stuck. Sporadic action creates more resistance. This works in all areas of your life – business, health, and relationships.
- Welcome the ease and flow! When something seems easy, welcome it! That’s a sign that you are in alignment with who you are and your purpose.
- Choose to be happy now! Right where you are. You decide. What would it take for you to create joy and peace in this moment? Most of the things we worry about today won’t even matter a month from now.
- Do something different. If what you’re doing isn’t getting you the results you want, do something different. Recalibrate. A small shift can create a huge difference. Even if it is working – swap it up, do something different just for fun!
- Find a way to do what you love! Life is short! Some of you may have to actually think about what it is that you do love – it’s been so long since you let yourself dream.
- Ask for help! Life’s a team sport! Remember how good you feel when you do something good for someone else. Let someone else have that feeling too.
- Love yourself already! You are amazing! Just as you are. You don’t need to add anything or take anything away. Give yourself grace. After all, this human journey comes with a few bumps. Patience required!