A common topic of discussion with my clients is around this concept of Imposter Syndrome.
What it is:
Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud in one or many areas of your life. And no surprise – It disproportionately affects high achievers (which of course my clients are!).
We live in a society and culture of comparison – measuring our achievements with a yardstick of someone else’s achievements. And then somehow adding a layer of discredit to our accomplishment. Because of course it’s a fluke if I did something that amazing, isn’t it?
Many of us were programed at an incredibly young age to prove ourselves worthy of love and acknowledgement. And the ironic thing is – YOU are the one who programmed you!! That’s right, well before we were 4 years old, we decided how the world works and our place in the world at an unconscious level. And then we set out to prove ourselves right about that. (More about Neuro Linguistic Programming in another issue.)
Being authentically ourselves has a bad rap – it’s considered a weakness to be authentic. What if someone sees the real me??
Fournier Formula: Be YOU! Every One Else Is Taken!
“Authenticity Is The Daily Practice of Letting Go of Who We Think We’re Supposed to Be and Embracing Who We Are.” -Brene Brown
Here’s what I’ve learned – being who I think I need to be in order to get love, validation, and approval is exhausting! We’ve been taught to be good girls, big boys suck it up – do what you’re told. So we grow up being who we think we are supposed to be. We stop asking “What would I love?”.
Now is the time to Choose YOU! Just this morning a client shared with me that for a long time she felt she didn’t belong and didn’t fit in. Perhaps you’ve had those thoughts too. And amplified those thoughts with “What’s wrong with me?” The answer to that always is: “NOTHING!” In fact, perhaps you don’t just fit in because you are meant to stand out in your brilliance, and you are here to lead!
So the real imposter is the Imposter Syndrome! What this all comes down to is that we become the imposter when we are not authentically us. Period. Just be you! Everyone else is taken. Each of us was designed uniquely – there is no one else exactly like you on this planet. You are necessary. And to be in the flow, simple flow with who you already are. The real imposter is when we mask our authentic self, our authentic giftedness, our authentic Being.