The Bind: Change is hard! Ever heard yourself say that? Yet we long for change in our life – whether it is in our health, our relationships, our career or our time and money freedom. And we’ll even decide, “This is it, I’m going to change (insert your area here) starting today.”
And then nothing changes. In fact, sometimes it seems like we are doing more of what we said we were not going to do anymore! How can that be? Well, here you go: Change becomes difficult because we focus on the negative aspects of the change. (BTW, this is true for everything we label ‘hard’ or ‘difficult’).
Here are 3 reasons why ‘nothing changes’:
1- We are creatures of habit. We are programmed to follow our unconscious patterns in life. And the ironic part of this is that we are the programmers of those patterns! These unconscious patterns started out as a conscious practice. And then we practiced over and over until it became unconscious and automatic. And we are not even aware that we are repeating the patterns. A simple analogy is tying our shoes or driving. Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of efficiency and purpose for many of our unconscious habits. And one of the jobs of our unconscious mind is to take the path of least resistance – much like a trail horse will doggedly (pun intended) continue to go back to the trail. So we do what we perceive to be easy.
2- What you think about, you bring about. Everything is energy. We are energy. Where our attention goes, energy flows. What we think about generates a vibration, frequency, or feeling tone. That feeling tone or vibration attracts like to it. We want to stop habits or patterns and then we focus on what we don’t want. If you constantly think about your debt you will create more debt. When you focus on what is wrong in your relationship, it amplifies. Your mind likes to be efficient, so once it has been thinking the same thoughts in the same patterns over and over again, it requires practice and skill to change. If you want to change your thought patterns, you will have to practice patience. Otherwise, you are in a battle with your own mind, and when it’s you against your same old ways, you will always lose. Conversely, when you think about love or generating wealth, you will create more love and wealth. Ask yourself this question: what was the last opportunity you were presented with? And when you think about that – did you visualize (think) yourself succeeding or the reasons why it wouldn’t work?
3- We love, love, love the familiar zone! We want change, though we don’t want to change. Many people call this the Comfort Zone. I have worked with thousands of clients and have yet to find one who is actually comfortable! Hence, their reason for hiring a Master Life Coach. Many people experience pain and discontent in their Comfort Zone. SO why do we stay there? Because it is familiar! We know what this looks like. We fear the unknown. And yet everything we desire or long for is outside this Familiar Zone. Sure the boogie man lives in the unknown, though so do our dreams and all possibility! So we stay in the familiar and don’t risk the unknown, unless we have a plan for the unknown.
“We want to achieve our goals because then everything would be different. We also don’t want to achieve our goals because then everything would be different.” (John Ryan)